Marina Bridges’s Zombie Report: Zombies For Girls

So a little while back, Marina showed me this: Make Your Own Zombie Barbie. I thought that was swell, especially since I wouldn’t even have to wreck collectible Barbies (and freak some people out). I have several Barbie dolls the cat has already wrecked–he thinks little Barbie fingers are delicious chew toys. The subject came back up again. I’m not sure which one of us bemoaned how too much zombie stuff is for boys (probably Marina because I’m the gun porn nut) which sent Marina on a quest.

I’ll let Marina take it from here.

Far too often, women end up in the backseat of the zombie apocalypse survivor SUV. They are expected to do the shit work. They nurse the bitten until they are attacked by the very patients they’ve been nursing. They become rest and recreation stations for horny roving motorcycle gangs. They are expected to repopulate the whole damned earth, whether that’s what they went to college for or not. Worst of all, they have to keep their fellow survivors’ clothes clean and stomachs sort of full. On The Walking Dead, Lori revels in her role as penis wiper. She sneers at Andrea when Andrea shows interest in what Lori considers to be man’s work, like sitting lookout, which nobody else is doing, especially now that Dale is dead.

(If I may interject. I think the perfect role for Lori in the next season is Zombie Bait. Tie her up, dangle her from a tree branch, then when the zombies come… But maybe that’s just me.)

Anybody who has seen a couple of high school girls get into a serious cat fight knows that women can be formidable foes. When and if the zombie apocalypse hits, I’m looking for a group of mean girls to join. In the meantime, there is a whole world of zombie products for girls to explore and enjoy.

This one seems nasty to me. Zombie Juice Perfume. The ingredients sound like they probably all smell good together, but the name bothers even me.

Zombie Juice Perfume
Available on Etsy

For the girl who is interested in nesting and is house proud, Melissa Christie offers this FABULOUS sheet set.

I Never Sleep Alone Sheet Set

Finally, when she meets the man (or woman) she will protect for better or for worse, until infection do them part, many bakeries are making terrific zombie wedding cakes!

photo Juxtapoz Magazine

Jaye, again. All that stuff sounds like tons of fun. I know the one thing this girly-girl (who only occasionally acts like a 14-year-old boy) wants for her zombie apocalypse.

While everyone is waiting for the zombies to come (or waiting for their order from etsy to arrive) hop over to Amazon or Smashwords and check out Marina’s new book!  Zombies Take Manhattan!

Marina HEARTS Zombies

Zombies HEART (eating) New York!

Available at Amazon
Available at Smashwords


15 responses

  1. are zombie wedding cakes made from brain?

    1. Probably not, but wouldn’t that be a fun surprise to spring on the guests!

  2. Zombie perfume, finally! What about my Zombie manicure? Is that just taking a weedwacker to their hands?

    1. Ew, Andrew, now THAT’S an image.

  3. Marie loughin | Reply

    I want those sheets!

    1. They’re on my Christmas list, Marie.

      1. I’ll get you a set for Christmas and you get me a set, then we’ll both be happy!

  4. I resent Lori’s implications and I’m very much in favor of hanging her ass from a tree as zombie bait. Shooting zombies is much more fun than dusting and sweeping. Andrea is my kinda cut the crap gal.
    However, I don’t think I could eat a zombie wedding cake even though it’s probably just red velvet.

    1. One would think in a zombie apocalypse that dusting and sweeping would drop off the radar. I mean, come on, what’s the point of the whole world ending if I still have to do housework?!?

      As for the wedding cake. Wouldn’t it be fun if it were like a King’s Cake. Only instead of a ring, the lucky winner finds a RING FINGER!

      1. Ack!

  5. Barbara, from the 1990 version of Night of the Living Dead, is the Rick Grimes of her day.

    1. I think you may be right, J.R.D.

      1. Thanks. 🙂

        This actually got me thinking about Sarah Polley’s behaviour in Dawn of the Dead – I don’t remember her being forced into the kitchen, but I don’t recall her being particularly proactive either. Frustrating.

        I HATE to be that guy, but I do happen to write a female character who faces off against the shambling dead, and she’s certainly not sitting about frosting cupcakes.

      2. Be THAT guy and hook a girl up with a link. We like kickass females around here.

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